Same Places

January 14, 2013 § 1 Comment

I’m falling asleep to the thought of your voice

A grip on my choice to keep thinking

Am I sexy?

You repeat it again

A woman

Built of words and revelations

Would you be let down?

Would you bring me up and then drink my desire?

Use your laugh to smash all defenses

We shall lament

But we shall also dance.

committed.

December 31, 2012 § 1 Comment

your rape palms give you away.

what?

your palms. how’d they get so fucked up?

None of your fucking business.

yea, yea, like I said…

I wasnt raped.

Oh really? Ok. Then you are in the wrong wing of the nut house, uppity bitch…and I suppose, those are just shaving accidents? hairy wrists?

what the fuck do you care?

Dont. Just making conversation.

Shitty conversation.

That’s all we got plenty of here.

The Ruts

December 26, 2012 § 1 Comment

no discovery

of tresspass

don’t you

remember the

feeling of

surviving the

cut thru

and walking

the ruts

***

Dedicated to Stephen.

Ruthless No More

December 24, 2012 § Leave a comment

I’m rushless

and wishing for ruth

in a bubble of overturned top soil

whispered machines and carburetor dreams

I’m rushless

and witless, losing my glasses

and failing to be Frank

or even Sue.  With a name like you

I’m rushless

and without haste.

And wishing for ruth.

My Numb(er)

December 22, 2012 § 2 Comments

In group today, I didn’t get there early so seating was awkward. I hate having my back to someone. Finally, I asked to move and could see everyone.

I admitted my number, my weight. The reaction was harsh. Or not expected. You’d think it would have a soothing effect. I’m the worst. You know? But I felt more resented for calling it out.

The session flew and that made me sad. I like how safe I feel there.

 

Wish He Would Too

December 22, 2012 § 2 Comments

I guess because I can’t say no. Is that why? my mouth is always full and my eyes always dry…is that why I cry? Why I can’t see the top of a hill from the lowest dark little valley. Is that why I feel it’s so hard to be me? Why I can’t stop medicating my pain, why I can’t sit with it a while, get used to its sting? Because I’m a nicer mom, when I’m sober and a smarter wife and maybe even a better person so I wish I’d stop filling my mouth and my body. And I wish he would too.

Teeth Like Razors

December 18, 2012 § Leave a comment

teeth like

razors majors

in tearing the clothes you

are wearing and the dreams you aren’t

sharing

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