July 24, 2012 § Leave a Comment
Days like this where I hate myself for knowing there was something missing in my relationship with Big Daddy. Days that are bounds and leaps into panic attacks that lurk and squat in the middle of pouting and moping depressions that I can’t shake.
I miss his never-ending support, how he’d never exhaust. he never seemed surprised or put out.
I waited for it, and it never came. I stopped expecting it. there was something missing anyway.
Why do I curse and hate myself.
Why do I love and bless myself.
Where is sleep, where is the drowning of nightmares.
Quiet. I’ve pulled the curtain shut.
It won’t be long now.