When the Crazies Are Normals
June 1, 2012 § 6 Comments
34 feels better than 33.
I was wondering about time passing and about medication, about attention and addiction. My life is so populated. I’m smoking and eating myself slowly to death. and maybe not so slowly. And its hard to stop. On the other hand, I am in therapy successfully for the first time in my whole life. I have overtime at work. I’m being honest and myself. I’m loving myself more despite my faults and self perceived imperfections. I have my husband, Big Daddy, my girls, my parents. I am a new Godmother. I’ve been wearing dresses and girly accessories. I’ve been going out in public and keeping my promises. I’m even and kind of freaked out that even when something “goes wrong”, I’m having a hard time getting my pity party on.
Huh. What does one do when one is used to hiding in depression? I’m forgiving myself, I’m trying to, gulp, like myself more and forgive myself for short-comings while working to improve. Imagine that.
Don’t think me so healed, ok? I might need you back in my safe place.