If But For

You
Are living

full and worrisome
To the best of your ability
I’m
The one

cloistered
Sinning
To say yes and never say no

If I were
Yours would
I try harder
To be the ForeverWoman?
No.

You’d cheat on me, too.
With some girl
Some spoiled little girl
Who has decided she made her bed
And she will lie in it

Tragedy lovers
As in not a tragic tale
As in sipping tragedy as a brew
Just another
Tortured thing to be addicted to
How do I know?
I’m addicted too.

If it weren’t for how you look
In you garb, behind that porcelain,
Or in a T-shirt and jeans
And with stubbled chin
And beautiful lips…

If it weren’t for
Where you promised to put those lips

If it weren’t for us, making slow friends, discussing God and failure, smoking, gorging on words of foreign lands and enjoying being novel
To opposite approach

Surely I could walk away
Surely your moon would go back to scarlet dreck
And his sun would come up on grey Atlantic salt bath
We are night children, you
And
I
words live there too
I’m not in love with you
But the idea of you
Has got me on my knees

Dreaming of believing
Following rules
Rigid and safe parameters
Traditional rewards
That I now deny out of fear of failure and winning the whole thing

eye sight without buildings
Were I but an adventure you go on.

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